Library fine

I forgot to add on my previous post that I have set a new personal record and beaten my previous library fine of £16 something. The other week due to my own stupidity at forgetting to renew half of the books I had out on loan I managed to give myself the lovely fine of £31.90. I was nearly sick!

Haven't been on here in aaaages.

I haven't been on here in ages so I thought I would come on and write some bull. Well naturally, a lot of things have happened nothing of any great interest to be honest. I still work at the co op and things in uni are going well it's just zooming along and it's getting scary just how long I have left, although I have made a change that will hopefully allow me to achieve my ambition of becoming a teacher!! I've finally went back to college to do a night class in GCSE maths and I've got my own little saying of 'the fourth time lucky' to keep me going, I hope to God I can achieve that bloody elusive C grade. My 15 year old sister is currently doing the same and it is rather soul destroying when she can do the work to a better level!! It takes so much willpower to drag my ass there every Tuesday but I think I'm improving so that's a good thing. I have also trained through the university as an Aim Higher Associate which involves going to a school and being a mentor to students and just being a 'rolemodel' along with promoting further and higher education, I've been given the school I'll be placed in so I'm just waiting to start. I'm also going to apply to do a PGCE, I just have to gain experience of working in a school before I can send the application form off, which is worrying as people are already having interviews.

In a ranting mood.

At the moment there are a few things that are grinding my gears.

1. UNIVERSITY - The fact that due to cut backs to save money that will apparently be spent on more books for the library, module guides are no longer given out in class and it would also appear that handouts have vanished and now most are electronic. This may be easier for lecturers and granted It only takes a few clicks and a couple of seconds to download it so that isn't the problem. What I do have a problem with though is the fact that I don't see what the tuition fee of £3,245 a year is being spent on if we are no longer given paper resources in class so therefore have to spend even more money printing out stuff like guides, short stories etc and at 5p a page it may not be a lot of money and I'm no tight arse, but it all adds up especially when handouts are a few pages long and there are four modules each semester. The length of lectures do not seem to be value for the tuition fee we are charged, usually they allocate a 2-3hour slot for a lecture/seminar which is a decentish amount of time. But I have noticed that this isn't the case, 3hour lectures sometimes finish upto an hour earlier meaning students are missing out on valuable lecture time where they could be learning more from a lecturer before going home and carrying out independent study. Poor lecturers that get dumped with the two hour lecture slots seem to have not enough time and race to cram everything in sometimes without a much needed 5 minute break even if it is just to stretch your hands from writing, personally I need a break after an hour, no matter how much I try to force myself to concentrate my mind always goes blank and I sit there in trance like state so god knows what the lecturers must think it must be disheartening to have 30+ students sitting staring at you looking as though the light is on but no one is home.

2. The new room on the 4th floor in university - It has no windows and the lighting is HORRIBLE! Headache inducing strip lights that are really bright. grrrrrr!!!!

3. The copy of Beloved by Toni Morrison that I ordered off bloody Amazon - I paid £3.98 for it or something like that but that's not the point. Supposedly it was 'used but in perfect condition' some liar put in the description, when it arrived the pages were bent and wrinkled from where somebody had spilt liquid on it - probably tea or coffee. And it had something sticky on it which I had to wipe off with dettol spray but worst of all was when I looked inside the cover it had in the corner £1.99. You would have thought if they were selling a book for more than what they bought it for then the least they could have done was rub out the price, especially as it was only written in pencil. That made me much more angrier than I should have probably got.

4. The trainee boy in the nail place - who I'm not kidding was about 14. I went to get my acrylic nails soaked off as they were irritating me and I wanted to paint my natural nails a nice colour seeing as I had let them grow for a change. He was let loose with an electric file with which he cut the skin around my cuticle resulting in a small cut that although barely visible really stings, and I ended up paying £10 for the pleasure, also he sqaured off my nails when I asked for them to be rounded.

Rant over.

I'm praying for 6ft of snowfall overnight.

Thats probably a bit greedy actually, 1ft of snow would probably have the desired outcome. I so hope university is shut tomorrow due to a disgusting amount of overnight snow but I know that won't be the case. I have an exam tomorrow for Language In Society, and have I revised enough? errrm well no! But there is pretty much nothing I can do about that now given the time is 12.45am and my exam is 11am, SO I'll just go to bed where I will spend the night thinking and worrying. I wish I wasn't such a thinker.

It's mine and Ben's first year anniversary today, all the snow is bringing back fond memories of last year when the weather was just as bad as is it is now yet we went on our first date and had a really lovely time, until I slipped like a wally in the snow hit the floor and dragged the poor boy down with me as he was trying to be romantic giving me a piece of chocolate. Neither of us were hurt apart from a broken nail and my bashed up pride. I have already fallen over in the snow twice already and thats enough although I hope to be as happy this year as I was last year.

Sweeties

I don't like milk all that much yet I like milky bottle sweets. I guess they are given the name as they are supposed to taste of milk, well the pack that I got today didn't and I was very dissapointed still I ate a third of the bag before realising that they are HORRIBLE. I hate it when I taste things from my childhood and then discover that I no longer like them. I think the ingredient list put me off, apart from the first three variations of sugar the fourth ingredient was Beef gelatine. mmmm cows bones, not very appealing. I also got a little bag of rhubarb and custards, now if they don't taste of actual rhubarb and custard then there is gunna be trouble.

ho ho ho merry christmas.

It's that time of year again folks! How quickly has this year just zoomed by semester one at uni is done with, thank the lord! I was at risk of harming myself and maybe others if I had to sit through another classics lecture pretending to look as though I found it interesting. I did try but just couldn't get into it hopefully I have also passed the second part of the module so I won't have to re-do it. The lecturer did try to make it semi appealing but I think studying epic poetry is a bit like marmite you either love it or hate it. I love marmite but have a strong dislike for John Milton. (he is the guy that wrote Paradise Lost, not the lecturer - just incase you were bothered) All my other uni modules have been okay nothing to write home about although Women's writing was really interesting and I actually enjoyed it, until I got my essay grade back which was a bit of a kick in the teeth especially as I really tried with it. I have two essays and an exam after christmas which isn't so good but then semester two doesn't start until the end of January so I can't really complain.

The other night we had a pre christmas which was wonderful, Ben's family came down to snatch him away from me and take him back home to his lovely village for christmas. Before they did that though we all exchanged gifts - I know christmas isn't supposed to be all about presents but i'm not going to pretend it is lovely to recieve gifts, although I like to give them more. I went a bit overboard and got Ben some headphones, spooks dvds, aftershave, a big thick scarf, a lyle and scott polo shirt, and a cardigan, he seemed happy enough with it all and his little smiling face was lovely to see.
I was really suprised with what I got off him, in a good way. He can be romantic when he wants to be but that's not very often. When it was my birthday last year he got me a bottle of perfume that I chose and was with him when he got it, he left it on the bookshelf in his room and on my birthday just took it down and gave it me unwrapped, also without a card which would have meant a lot to me to recieve after he left it in boots and 'didn't see another card that he liked enough to get me'. So I was shocked when the other night he produced a stunning box with a 1940s style woman on the front, inside the box was a matching christmas card and in the box was a purple purse, a huge lavender coloured candle, and the most beautiful matching picture frame and jewellery box that contains pressed flowers in the glass. My favourite present ever was the bag that he got me It's hard to describe but I just love it so much.
It made me want to cry the amount of effort he went to in choosing me the gifts that all colour co-ordinated and the fact that he had put effort into it, no one has ever really done that for me before, its always me being the thoughtful considerate one. So Ben, if you are reading this THANKYOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU, nearly as much as the bag.

Me Ben and his family went to the bluebrick for a wonderful meal, If you haven't been then go. It's near the sorting office in Wolverhampton right next to the premier inn, it does an outstanding monkfish curry that I could have just ate plate after plate of - not to fishy and not to curried. lovely.
He has only been back at home for like two days but It has made me realise just how much I love being in a couple and being a partnership. Although I was happy when I was single, sharing things with someone is just a million times better I'm definatley better as part of a couple. Doing things on your own that you would normally do as a couple is just rubbish, and I already miss the little silly things like watching tv and having cups of flavoured tea together at night time and him singing to me. I have managed to escape dreaded co op for long enough to go home for christmas this year, so on christmas eve I shall be bidding farewell to wolves and greeting Runcorn with open arms. Nothing much well nothing at all is planned I'm going to spend some quality time with the family and catch up with my friends who regretably I haven't seen in far too long, the only trouble is I am laden with gifts and didn't really think about how I'm going to get them back home, I am not looking forward to juggling them and a big rucksack of clothes on a train that will probably be packed considering it will be christmas eve. ohwell.

Me and Ben are going to be spending new year together don't know what we will be doing yet, but I don't really care. To go out anywhere costs about a million quid so i'll be happy just to spend time together even if we stay in. I have a feeling 2010 is going to be a great year! January is going to be a busy time anyway, I have essays and exams due at the beginning, then it's our year anniversary, then ben's 21st then mine. I've spent far too long on here and looking at places that we could go as a birthday treat, I really must get back to writing essays and maybe stop on iplayer for a little peek at the eastenders episode I missed.......wonder what happens to the mitchells.

What do you do when your father is an insensitive moron?

That is the question I am asking myself at the moment....i'm wondering what to do?

To cut a long story short, my dad who I met four years ago and his wife have just had a baby about a month ago, my little brother Noah. I was informed of his birth via a group text message he sent to everyone. Then he said they don't want people seeing the baby just yet they want a week to themselves, which I understood and fair enough, but what I don't appreciate is getting a message off him asking when im coming up Manchester to see the baby because they have other people they need to fit in. On top of that he said well 'we can't have four people seeing him at once he'll be knackered'. I understand being a little human is very tiring at that age, but god im not a bloody slot in the appointment calendar.

I told dad this and said im not going all the way up there to be kicked out because he has other people waiting to come, it ended up in an arguement. Apparently I was 'pissing him off'...so he put the phone down...and he tells me to be mature! ha, what a joke.

I returned the call, and ended up rowing somemore because he delivered the blow....''well to be truthfull you aren't part of my life.'' What an utter bastard. Just because we see each other like four times a year doesn't mean we aren't part of each others lives. It is possibly the most hurtful thing anyone has said to me, like someone stabbing me or something just as painful.

He said I should call him back the next day when I've calmed down. Cheeky git. So the next day he called me, I ignored him and his three voice msgs. And have continued to since, he got his wife to send me a half hearted 'we want to see you text message', which wasn't that believable, given what dad of the year had said to me. I ignored that to.
To be honest I can do without surrounding myself with people like him, but then again I would like to see my brother. So I'm a bit stuck on what's the best thing to do. I have had the patience of a saint with dad, but he has kinda pushed me a step to far.