Tuesday, 22 December 2009


I don't like milk all that much yet I like milky bottle sweets. I guess they are given the name as they are supposed to taste of milk, well the pack that I got today didn't and I was very dissapointed still I ate a third of the bag before realising that they are HORRIBLE. I hate it when I taste things from my childhood and then discover that I no longer like them. I think the ingredient list put me off, apart from the first three variations of sugar the fourth ingredient was Beef gelatine. mmmm cows bones, not very appealing. I also got a little bag of rhubarb and custards, now if they don't taste of actual rhubarb and custard then there is gunna be trouble.

Monday, 21 December 2009

ho ho ho merry christmas.

It's that time of year again folks! How quickly has this year just zoomed by semester one at uni is done with, thank the lord! I was at risk of harming myself and maybe others if I had to sit through another classics lecture pretending to look as though I found it interesting. I did try but just couldn't get into it hopefully I have also passed the second part of the module so I won't have to re-do it. The lecturer did try to make it semi appealing but I think studying epic poetry is a bit like marmite you either love it or hate it. I love marmite but have a strong dislike for John Milton. (he is the guy that wrote Paradise Lost, not the lecturer - just incase you were bothered) All my other uni modules have been okay nothing to write home about although Women's writing was really interesting and I actually enjoyed it, until I got my essay grade back which was a bit of a kick in the teeth especially as I really tried with it. I have two essays and an exam after christmas which isn't so good but then semester two doesn't start until the end of January so I can't really complain.

The other night we had a pre christmas which was wonderful, Ben's family came down to snatch him away from me and take him back home to his lovely village for christmas. Before they did that though we all exchanged gifts - I know christmas isn't supposed to be all about presents but i'm not going to pretend it is lovely to recieve gifts, although I like to give them more. I went a bit overboard and got Ben some headphones, spooks dvds, aftershave, a big thick scarf, a lyle and scott polo shirt, and a cardigan, he seemed happy enough with it all and his little smiling face was lovely to see.
I was really suprised with what I got off him, in a good way. He can be romantic when he wants to be but that's not very often. When it was my birthday last year he got me a bottle of perfume that I chose and was with him when he got it, he left it on the bookshelf in his room and on my birthday just took it down and gave it me unwrapped, also without a card which would have meant a lot to me to recieve after he left it in boots and 'didn't see another card that he liked enough to get me'. So I was shocked when the other night he produced a stunning box with a 1940s style woman on the front, inside the box was a matching christmas card and in the box was a purple purse, a huge lavender coloured candle, and the most beautiful matching picture frame and jewellery box that contains pressed flowers in the glass. My favourite present ever was the bag that he got me It's hard to describe but I just love it so much.
It made me want to cry the amount of effort he went to in choosing me the gifts that all colour co-ordinated and the fact that he had put effort into it, no one has ever really done that for me before, its always me being the thoughtful considerate one. So Ben, if you are reading this THANKYOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU, nearly as much as the bag.

Me Ben and his family went to the bluebrick for a wonderful meal, If you haven't been then go. It's near the sorting office in Wolverhampton right next to the premier inn, it does an outstanding monkfish curry that I could have just ate plate after plate of - not to fishy and not to curried. lovely.
He has only been back at home for like two days but It has made me realise just how much I love being in a couple and being a partnership. Although I was happy when I was single, sharing things with someone is just a million times better I'm definatley better as part of a couple. Doing things on your own that you would normally do as a couple is just rubbish, and I already miss the little silly things like watching tv and having cups of flavoured tea together at night time and him singing to me. I have managed to escape dreaded co op for long enough to go home for christmas this year, so on christmas eve I shall be bidding farewell to wolves and greeting Runcorn with open arms. Nothing much well nothing at all is planned I'm going to spend some quality time with the family and catch up with my friends who regretably I haven't seen in far too long, the only trouble is I am laden with gifts and didn't really think about how I'm going to get them back home, I am not looking forward to juggling them and a big rucksack of clothes on a train that will probably be packed considering it will be christmas eve. ohwell.

Me and Ben are going to be spending new year together don't know what we will be doing yet, but I don't really care. To go out anywhere costs about a million quid so i'll be happy just to spend time together even if we stay in. I have a feeling 2010 is going to be a great year! January is going to be a busy time anyway, I have essays and exams due at the beginning, then it's our year anniversary, then ben's 21st then mine. I've spent far too long on here and looking at places that we could go as a birthday treat, I really must get back to writing essays and maybe stop on iplayer for a little peek at the eastenders episode I missed.......wonder what happens to the mitchells.

Saturday, 14 November 2009

What do you do when your father is an insensitive moron?

That is the question I am asking myself at the moment....i'm wondering what to do?

To cut a long story short, my dad who I met four years ago and his wife have just had a baby about a month ago, my little brother Noah. I was informed of his birth via a group text message he sent to everyone. Then he said they don't want people seeing the baby just yet they want a week to themselves, which I understood and fair enough, but what I don't appreciate is getting a message off him asking when im coming up Manchester to see the baby because they have other people they need to fit in. On top of that he said well 'we can't have four people seeing him at once he'll be knackered'. I understand being a little human is very tiring at that age, but god im not a bloody slot in the appointment calendar.

I told dad this and said im not going all the way up there to be kicked out because he has other people waiting to come, it ended up in an arguement. Apparently I was 'pissing him off'...so he put the phone down...and he tells me to be mature! ha, what a joke.

I returned the call, and ended up rowing somemore because he delivered the blow....''well to be truthfull you aren't part of my life.'' What an utter bastard. Just because we see each other like four times a year doesn't mean we aren't part of each others lives. It is possibly the most hurtful thing anyone has said to me, like someone stabbing me or something just as painful.

He said I should call him back the next day when I've calmed down. Cheeky git. So the next day he called me, I ignored him and his three voice msgs. And have continued to since, he got his wife to send me a half hearted 'we want to see you text message', which wasn't that believable, given what dad of the year had said to me. I ignored that to.
To be honest I can do without surrounding myself with people like him, but then again I would like to see my brother. So I'm a bit stuck on what's the best thing to do. I have had the patience of a saint with dad, but he has kinda pushed me a step to far.

Monday, 21 September 2009


Well the new academic year has started, and I'm excited. This morning I went to the first lecture of the day 'Women's writing', and was not that suprised to learn that the majority of the class are female apart from two lads who looked a little bewidered. Other than them actually having an interest in women's writing - which they probably do, my guesses as to why they chose the module are a) thinking 'oooh yeah that will be full of girls', or b) due to timetable clashes and picking modules that are the best out of a not so good bunch this module was the best. Which to be honest is why I am studying it.

I hope it turns out to be a module that I like though, right now it could go either way. I can't say I enjoyed the lecture but then again I have sat through worse things, so I shall see how it goes. Anyway time for triumph of the day - The module guides were given out listing the four key texts we have to read by week 8, by my calculations that works out to be a book a week from now until week 8. As my loan hasn't come in yet and probably won't do for another month or so, and with the majority, infact all bar five of the class saying they will buy the books off cheap internet sites I headed off to the library.
There I found all four books to have two copies available, lucky old me. When I got to the shelves I was suprised to see that no one else had bothered to come and get the books. This is the first time in a long time that I haven't been beaten to a book by another wise thinker from my class.

Lauren 1 - everyone else 0. Atleast I won't have to pay for them, the only annoying thing is is that they are only on a one week loan so i'll have to remember to keep on renewing them which I will probably forget about, therefore incurring library fees. So to be fair in the long run i'm probably best buying them, but for new renting them will do.

I've got another lecture in a while, ' texts and practices', I hope it's good/not that long. I like learning new things but my brain is too tired today, then off home via ASDA to stock up on cold and flu tablets and loo roll for snotty noses, as both Ben and my flatmate Nikita seem to have come down with some rotten freshers flu thing.
I hope I don't get it.

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

Student loans

It isn't often that I write about topical news,well actually I never do to be honest but I felt I had to after reading this.
The university helping out first year students with emergancy funding is all well and good, but students in 2nd and 3rd year will be affected just as bad with the delays of loan payments by student loan company. Personally I am having a fight with the SLC to get my loan. I filled it out online as I was told it would be processed faster than if i was to fill it out the good old fashioned way by pen and paper, what a load of bullshit.

Apparently they were going to send my mum a letter in the post with a password in so she could gain access to the loan site and confirm the details that I had already given for her, she has yet to recieve that letter. But last week she got a letter saying they are waiting for confirmation information off her so that my loan can be processed. My mother is a lot of things but she isn't superhuman, how is it possible for her to have gave information without having the password to gain access to the site.
I bet the people who work for SLC are just an evolutionary step above cavemen. Utter useless idiots. I appreciate that it is not their fault a record number of people have applied for university, but making stupid mistakes like this slows down the whole process.

The university have not mentioned anything about giving emergany loans, or atleast I haven't heard about it. Im assuming they would have told you by letter if you had been one of the lucky ones to have been given the emergancy grant. I'm guessing I'm not one of them. Probably a postcode lottery or something.
This leaves me in a bit of a pickle, I had banked on getting my loan on time and had allocated money from it to be spent on books for my course, as I do English books are something I have to spend money on. Even if i get them second hand, they still cost, and without a loan being able to afford them is a bit of a non starter. Especially as I have just spen my hard earned wages on things that I need for halls such as duvet, pillows, cleaning things, food etc. So until my loan comes whenever that will be, I'm just going to have to hope the library has the books that I will need for my modules. My guess is though is that there will be people with the same idea as me. In the past I have had mad after lecture races to the library with people from my course who have wisely had the same idea, thing is though they always win.

Things happen when you least expect it.

After having moved out of university halls I went back to Yorkshire with Ben and stayed with his family, it was really nice and just the break I needed out of this concrete city. I loved the fact that even though he lives in a little village that the coast and grassy fields are only a few minutes away depending on how your mood takes you. For a start the air feels fresher.

As the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. On saturday we moved into Victoria Hall, its very nice and plush well for students anyway. The flat we have is 7 storyes up and I have a view from my room that looks over towards Bentley bridge, so maybe not the best view of them all but I'll live with it, atleast it's better than a ground floor room. So far everything is going great, although I have noticed a few pros and cons.

Three minute (maybe 4min) walk to uni.
Once you have paid rent you dont have to worry about paying bills.
We are recieving freeview on the tv and although we should have a t.v licence we don't (YET!).
Living with three really nice people who I know I get along with, therefore allowing me to bypass doing silly things like writing names on food boxes having own shelf in fridge etc..
Having the choice to either sleep in the big bed in my room or the big bed in Ben's room.
Having a big bed.
Having a sofa, kitchen/dining area.
24 hour caretaker - I realised the benefit of these people when my door shut and locked me out of my own bedroom - five times! Eventually the next day they fixed the lock.
The feeling of being safe.
We have been provided with a henry hoover, well its called numatic - we have yet to think of a name.

The £150 price tag for the internet.
The £1.50 for a washer and the £1.50 for a dryer
The price they charge if anything of theirs is broken, so we decided on getting our own plates cups etc so if they break we wont care.
When the lift broke the other day when I wasn't feeling well, I didn't appreciate having to walk up seven storeys.
Having to take the rubbish bags downstairs in the lift to the bins, it's a bit eurgh.
Not being allowed to put posters up - not even with white tac, unless it's on the pin board, although the pin board they have provided us with isn't even that big.
Stating that we are provided with stuff for the kitchen, and then not providing us with essential things like a chopping board, baking tray or potato peeler.

I suppose everything has its positve and negative points, and so far it has turned out how I expected, lovely jubbly. Now I'm just waiting for uni to commence, I'm feeling nervous and exciting I dont really know what to expect of 2nd year world, but I'm not expecting it to be easy. Well my theory is if I expect something to be dificult, then I'll like it when I find it isn't as dificult as I first thought. My modules still need changing, but I can't print out the module selection form to take to my school office as my printer card doesn't flaming work.

We have gone out a couple of times since freshers week started, it's more relaxing this time round. It is really nice to know people from your year and to just chat to them over drinks or whatever, I also find it reassuring to have old friends even when you are meeting new ones. I prefer quality over quantity. So even though I may not be an absolute social butterfly and have 1000 friends, the friends I have got I know are quality and will always be friends with.

A few new deaf freshers have started uni this year, it was nice to see them all together and seeing Ben signing to them all last night, it made me feel really proud of him and bought a smile to my face, it it is not often that he uses sign to communicate, and without sounding patronising I sometimes feel bad that he sometimes has to struggle at times in the hearing world. So it was really lovely to see him relaxed and signing with people who understand it. I could do with learning BSL, thinking about it its probably the best way to communicate in a club, the music in Oceana last night was so loud.

On a sad note, I heard news last night that the boyfriend of my friend back home has died. I had only met him for a few days back in June when we all camped at Glatonbury and he was violently ill off drinking too much pimms, but he seemed like a real nice guy. Most importantly I could tell he loved my friend, they were one of those couples that when you look at them made you go aww rather than urgh. Hayley has been my friend since we we started secondary school and we can chat about anything and I can be honest and tell her to shut up when she's annoying me, she is the type of friend that since moving to uni I haven't really seen all that much. But the type of friend that will always be a friend, no matter how many times you may or may not see them.
I struggled last night to find what to say to her, I wanted to be tactful and comforting without being patronising. It's hard to know what to say to a friend whos 20 year old boyfriend has just died, you shouldn't really have to be saying it.

Words are a funny thing, they can be beautiful comforting sometimes hurtful, I find it amazing the way in which something that is written down can have such an effect upon our emotions. Words aren't a living entity they don't have a heartbeat or feelings so how do they make us feel a certain way. I think the answer is thinking. Writing something down actually makes you think more about the words and what is being said, the thought process that went into expressing emotions or thoughts through words. Saying something is brief it can be throw away, whereas something noted down by pen is permanant. That is why I am stupid at writing things like sympathy cards, either sounding like a moron or writing something that is cliched and therefore not comforting at a time when it is most needed.

Life is a funny thing, and sometimes it takes things like the horrible news last night to make you take stock and evaluate where you are going with your own. It has certianly made me appreciate my own life much more.

Rest in peace Dale.

Thursday, 27 August 2009

Twitting hell!

I've gone over to the darkside of this new age micro blogging world thingy. Yes, Twitter has gobbled up another victim into its hungry horrible mouth. Me.

On first impressions I am not that impressed to be honest, I expected it to be good from all the fuss that is made of it everyday in the papers, radio etc etc. I am a bit wary of it, I mean it has a word limit on what you can put in the tweets - what is that all about!?
I will give most things a go though so I shall stick with it and see if I warm to it. As a rather talkative peson though I always have a lot to say, most of it garbage but I ramble on regardless. This is why I love Blogspot so much. And now I feel I am betraying it.

Blogspot - I am sorry.

Wednesday, 12 August 2009


Sometimes I think not having any choices would make life a hell of a lot easier. Having choice is what makes me stay in ASDA for 40 minutes in the in the olive section, wondering if I should get the garlic stuffed variety or the ones that are filled with jalepenos. Choice gives me a headache. But to imagine a life without having a choice to do or pick something isn't really worth thinking about.

I have been thinking about the English modules I shall taking next year. They have changed over the past day or two, but now I think I'm finally decided. It seems a lot of the modules have exams this year, which fills me with a nervous dread. And although I don't like giving presentations I realise it's something that can't be avoided. So I'm going to embrace it and I may actually prove myself to be semi decent at it.

The modules I have picked are:

semester 1
Classics In Literature
Stylistics: Language and literature
Language in society
Sounds of language

semester 2
Critical Theory
American literature
Writing workshops - special topics

Although the summer has been nice and relaxed I can't wait to get back to uni, my brain is feeling a little sleepy and needs to be woken up. These modules seem like the perfect challenge.

*update: It would appear that I am some form of dimwit. I won't be doing sounds of language, as it isn't even running this year. I had stupidly picked modules that featured in the 2008/2009 module guide not the 2009/10 guide. So it looks as though It will have to be womens writing instead. Although I don't really want to do it, it looks the best out of the bunch.

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

With Jesus in the boat we can smile at the storm.

The title of this post refers to a hymn we used to sing in primary school assembly. It always gives me a mental image of a cartoon like Jesus sitting in a wooden fishing boat, wearing a yellow waterproof mac being tossed about by a storm, it makes me giggle. This is possibly one of my favourite songs from school, that and the song we used to sing at harvest time about broad beans sleeping in a blankety bed. Now if I remember correctly there was also a line about beetroot,cauliflower and mushrooms, but I can't for the life of me remember what the song was called. My guess is, whoever composed it had probably been eating a few too many mushrooms themselves.

It's been raining since like forever now. Rain is nice if you have nothing to do, but can bugger things up if you have plans. Rain always makes me want to stay in bed, nice warm and dry.

This morning I dragged myself out of bed, it is my day off so I didn't want to waste it. When I looked out of the window, I was greeted with the view that the animals on Noah's ark were probably greeted with. Rain, rain, rain, rain, and more RAAAIIIN!

Guess which silly sod hasn't got an umbrella? Yes, me. I always mean to get one but then it goes sunny. Ex umbrelllas that I have owned in the past always seem to want to desert me and blow inside out at crucial times, i.e when I'm laden down with shopping bags crossing a really busy road and the rain is at its heaviest. I have never had a decent relationship with the things.

..I am aware that as I am writing this the rain has actually stopped. But now it's too late to do the things that I wanted to do in the day. I wanted to go the art gallery and see some of the new exhibitions, I probably would have gone but I was kind of worried at the fact I would get soaking wet walking in the rain and resemble a drowned rat. I wouldn't mind but I made an effort to look nice today, a nice dress, cardigan etc. All gone to waste. I have sat in all afternoon and not done much it has been relaxing though! So I suppose it's ok.

Actually I lie, I did go to asda where I got some grapes for 75p and some asparagus for 45p. Now if it wasn't for the rain, I never would have bagged those bargains.

A few things I have learnt today.

They are:

1) It always rains when I have plans.

2) They have moved the rice cakes in ASDA, it took me ten minutes to find them.

3) Weight watchers bacon is not that nice and doesn't really taste bacony. I was rather dissapointed.

4) I need to buy an umbrellla, but I refuse to pay £6 for one.

5) I need my fringe cutting by a hairdresser, if i attempt to do it again it will almost certainly go wrong.

6) It isn't good to stick your hand under a grill for too long when it is on.

5) Don't wear a dress in the rain, it gets all soggy.

Oh I forgot to say, yesterday we (the people I shall be living with in september) went to victoria halls to sign for the flat. Finally. This means that now I am broke, but happy. Only a few weeks to go now until we move in. hurrah.

Friday, 24 July 2009

Rice cakes

I really love rice cakes.
I am trying to eat healthily along with exercise in the hope of losing some weight that Isn't needed. I want to be able to maintain it, rather than just give up in a few weeks time when I get fed up or annoyed with myself.

I have been eating things like rice and veg with fish or chicken for tea, or as some people like to call it dinner. Wierdos.
Anyway here is were the rice cakes come in, I usually have rice cakes and fruit for breakfast. I'm finding though that my choice of rice cake topping is getting a little boring, it's either low fat cream cheese or mashed up banana.

Does anyone know of any nice imaginative toppings, that work well on an otherwise boring rice cake? Nothing to watery though, soggy rice cake is rubbish.

Another day.

I would be a rubbish nurse. I have had an awful nights sleep tossing and turning, then at 4.36am (I checked on my phone) I was woke up by some little noises that sounded like a wounded animal. It took me about a minute to realise it was Ben laying next to me fidgeting around with his face in the pillow, it turns out he had tootache.

Half asleep I got myself out of bed and spent a good five minutes searching for ibuprofen and paracetamol. Why is it they always seem to be lying around, but when you need them they can never be found. Anyway I shoved on a dessing gown, not really bothering that it wasn't tied or that if someone saw me in the kitchen they would have a shock at the state of my bed hair. So I went and got him some water and tablets and hoped to get back into the nice comfy bed.

He was still in pain though, so I come up with the suggestion of me going to ASDA to get him some anbesol to make it numb. I said this but didn't think Ben would say yes. Now the time was nearing 5am. I was just about to slip on my jeans and drag my sorry ass off to asda, when I remembered a carrier bag full of bits and bobs (mainly junk, fake tan corector wipes and medicine) that I bought from the house when I moved out. It contained anbesol - HURRAH!! I knew there was a reason I kept items that I never really use.

A few blobs of that on his tooth, and I'm guessing it worked it's numbing magic as he was out for the count. Shame about me though, I've been practically nudged out of bed and i'm sleeepy. Anyway hopefully when he wakes up the toothache has gone, otherwise it'll be a lovely day spent in the dentist.

Victoria halls
For the past few weeks we have been getting a bit stressed about moving into the new halls. We have had the forms for a good two months or so now, but we never seemed to decide on a day when we would hand them in. Then last week the Express and star has to go and print a story about the halls facing closure before it even opens. This added more stress as no one from the halls had told us anything, and we were left wondering what would happen. I didn't want to live in a house again, and uni accomodation is grotty.

They said that if the Gas canisters stored in carvers building yard were to blow then the halls would fall in the blast zone. Which obviously means that the building would face damage, therefore posing a risk to life. Feeling a bit nervous and wanting answers Ben, Nikita, Rob and myself went to the halls office and spoke with the manager. He said basically that its a pile of bull. Well i'm hoping it is anyway. He said that the buildings that have already been built are not in the blast zone. But they also got permission to build an extra block D, and if they were to go ahead with that extra building now, then that would be the one to fall in the zone. I hope this is true and that we are not being fed a few lines. So It would appear that we are safe to move in, the forms will be in next Tuesday all done and dusted, hopefully without any niggles.

Bye bye university overpriced for what you get halls. Hello luxury student accomodation.

After feeling my jeans getting tighter I am now on weight watchers, I am doing it by myself and sticking to the 'points' and weighing myself once a week. I can't justify spending £6 a week going to the classes, and having someone read the scales for you and to make you feel like crap if you have only lost a pound or two. As it's the summer I have no excuse not to exercise either, I just pity the people around west park who will have to see me all red faced as I jog my way around. Maybe one day I will work up to a run.

Friday, 10 July 2009


Does cooking fajitas work just as well in a normal pan? Ben has gone and thrown away the wok. Yes I may have burnt it the other night, but im sure the burnt bit would have come clean if i washed it.
Instead the Gok wok as he calls it, is in with the rubbish and I don't really fancy getting it out. I don't want to start cooking the peppers and chicken and stuff in a normal pan if it ain't really going to work.
Blummin eck.


Today turned out to be a productive one, although im an idiot and forgot to ring student loan company yet again. I must write a note to myself reminding me not to forget.

It was funny to see my mates rushing to hand resit work in today. I too was in that position last year and it made me smile inside to think I wouldn't have to go through the whole resit process again, that I can just enjoy summer without bricking it about passing the year or not. One of my mates failed last year like me and had to resit it this year. But also has had to do some resits again for the resit year. I feel a bit bad on her and hope the lazy arse passes.

Kat, Abi and myself all went citizens advice to see if there was anything we could do about 'selfish' I don't want to give to much away. Not that she will ever read this, but there is something we can do. She is probably sat at home with a right smug grin on her face, thinking she is going to get way without paying anything. Well she isn't, and I cant wait to see that grin wiped off her face. To be fair the three of us could just pay her share of the bills and be done with it, but why should we when we dont owe the money. And I don't want to give her the satisfaction of getting away with it, when we are trying to co-operate with her and all she is doing is being a complete bitch.

..It was a lovely sunny day today, was going to go the park but instead I got myself some sale bargains. It seems lots of places have sales at the minute, probably just desperate for the money. I got two bras, and a tshirt for myself and Ben and myself a pair of jeans each, all for £30! Good or what!

I decided on getting a new pair of trousers for the funeral, they will also come in handy for work. Although the shortest pair I could find claimed to be a 29 inch leg. I think this is crap though as when I tried them on they scrape across the floor, im 5ft 3 so a 29'' leg shouldn't be that long on me. It really irritates me that shops sell trousers claiming to be 29'', 32'' or whatever when they are not. So anyway I will have to wear heels with them, or find myself a stretching wrack and make myself grow by about three inches.

Emma Ben and myself then went to the carvery for a nice bit of gammon and turkey, veg potatoes and all that malarky. I think I have gone off green beans, just thought you may like to know.

Thats about it really.

Thursday, 9 July 2009

Don't you just love an automated voice.

After being put on hold for 20 minutes, and being told by an automated welsh voice, '' we are sorry for the delay but we are experiencing a high demand of calls right now, if you would like to hold we will put you through to an advisor''. I finally got through to the dimwits at the tax office just as I was about to give up and put the phone down. Hurrah.

Since the start of time (March) I have been trying to reclaim my tax money back since I was being emergency taxed since September, and without fail everytime I have been fobbed off with something like 'ring back in a week', or 'the system is down'. Today on the phone I decided to use a more firm tone of voice, I don't know if it was that what worked. Or maybe I had just been put through to the only helpful person who works there, but either way it's all been sorted now. Thank God!

Now it's just the pesky student loans to deal with uh - oh. I have left it so late to apply, I probably won't receive any form of financial help until the year 2087. It's my own fault really, but if the process wasn't so god damn long I think I would have done it months ago. And really to be honest I am known to be a bit lazy so that probably doesn't help.

I didn't do much today apart from ring the tax people and go to ASDA for bananas, honey and mushy peas. Although Ben went to Birmingham today with James, for a meeting about working with a charity for the disabled. Its just starting off and is all very exciting, promoting disability awareness and things and giving talks.
If you are reading this Ben I am really proud of you and what you are doing, now don't be getting a big head!

The funeral for Grandad Harry is on Wednesday, and i'm stuck over what to wear. I know it isn't a fashion show and no one will care, but still I want to look half respectable and not like a scruffbag. I can scrub up fairly well when I make an effort.

Its either black trousers with a black ruffled blouse and heels.
Black ruffled blouse with a grey pencil skirt and black heels
Black skirt and black smart top thingy and black heels.

Tomorrow I face a fun filled day with Kat and Abi. This will involve a trip to citizens advice to see what if anything can be done about my ex housemate 'selfish', and her lack of decency when It comes to paying her share of the bills.

Let the battle commence I say.

Tuesday, 7 July 2009


Good old facebook eh. A few hours ago I found out of my grandads death via my sisters status. Today , four days after the stroke his body finally gave in and he stopped the fighting. I am happy family were given the time to go and say goodbye to him. Although he passed away in hospital, it is a nice reassuring feeling to know that he was with all of his daughters when he went from this world to another place.

I am not big on religion at this stage in my life, maybe it could be seen by some as me just being ignorant. Maybe it is, I don't know. Maybe as I get older my views will change. I am an open person and accepting of many things, it's just that I don't really believe there is a God as such. I don't think there is one being that put us all here. I also don't believe that there is a heaven with angels and clouds an cherubs sitting on harps. I think it is a picturesque place made up by the people who want reassurance at a time of loss and vunerability.

On the other hand, at times when I have dealt with loss within the family, I find it nice to think that the spirit of the deceased person has gone somewhere else to be at rest. I'm just not to sure were although in my mind it isn't picturesque heaven. Just somewhere better, where the persons spirit and personality can go when the body is tired and has given up.

I do believe in spirits and ghosts, I think a spirit goes on forever. How I don't know, I just think that there is a better place to be than earth. But then again, maybe i'm just trying to reasuure myself along with the 'heaven' believers that when someone dies, it just doesn't stop and end there. As the idea of heaven allows for a journey to continue rather than stop.

The body is just a case, personality character and spirit fill it. So although my grandads body has stopped working and is dead in the in the hospital. I know that that isn't him. His skin bones and false teeth didn't make him what he was. But the things he accomplished, the people who he loved his personailty and fighting spirit, they are the things that made him such a great man.
I am so happy that I was part of his family and had 20 years of knowing him.

So hours after his death and wherever his spirit has gone to, I hope it is somewhere where it deserves to be.

Cineworld staff what a bunch of morons!

Ben and I decided on going to see transformers last night. Well I say decided, that was the only subtitled film showing at cineworld Wolverhampton. Its a bit pathetic really, don't they think that deaf people go to the cinema. I'm not even deaf or hard of hearing ,but I am annoyed at the lack of choice of films that are shown with subtitles at that cinema. It would appear that there is only one subtitled film shown per week with one allocated time slot. So all in all pretty crap if you are deaf like Ben. It would appear deaf people cannot have choice when visiting the cinema.

So transformers it was, to be honest it was more my insistence on seeing something with subtitles that we ended up sitting through that wretched film. Although with his hearing aids, he may be able to hear a little bit but not much. I like watching a film with him that has the subtitles because I know that then we are both enjoying it and he can follow it and its nice to see him laugh at the parts everyone else does as he can follow it. It's just a shame transformers isn't funny. It's really really lame. Megan Fox yes she is hot, but my main problem is that her character wore white skinny jeans throughout the film, whilst racing through and rolling around in the desert. Sorry but there is no way on earth they would stay white, yet they managed to stay sparkling throughout. Which for me made the action scenes unconvincing.

Back to the subtitles anyway, as we were queuing I thought I best check it was deffo the subtitled viewing, it would appear the total utter moron behind the desk didn't have a clue what planet she was on never mind anything else. Her reply to my 'this is the subtitles viewing isn't it?' was .....errrm I dunno. She then proceeded to look through the booklet and after about 5 minutes said 'ermm yeah well its supposed to be'. She then called over some bloke called Raj 'The manager' he was just as helpful with his. ' Well yeah its supposed o be, but if you get in there and it isn't well then after the film you can have a refund'.

Well thanks for your help you donkey, that's no good if my deaf boyfriend has to sit through a film he can't follow you utter utter prat. That's what I felt like saying, but I just thought it instead.

Thankfully when the film started it was subtitled, if not i might have hurt someone. When some woman across the cinema gives the loudest disapproving tut ever and goes ' oh god whaaaat', as soon as subtitles appear. I could have thrown my tortillas at her, how bloody ignorant can one person be. This was the only showing a person who is deaf or hard of hearing could have gone to see, if she had a problem then why not go to one of the other 8 showings throughout the day and not go through the obvious torment of having to follow the words at the bottom of the screen the stupid cow. No one else seemed to have a problem with it. Oh it really made me angry inside.
I hoped she disliked the film as much as I did. The best part of the film was eating my chocolate and the end for obvious reasons.
The next subtitled they decide to show, better be good.

Monday, 6 July 2009

It's all been going on lately

After two weeks without Ben I was really starting to miss him, I was also missing running round cooking and telling him to remember stuff. I missed giving him a morning kiss before I headed out everyday, and missed seeing his computer screen permanently on the Red Cafe website as I walked past his laptop. So it was really nice to have him back on Friday, nice new haircut and all.

I am not a material person and don't expect presents all the time, but I have made a point on several occasions that no one has ever bought me flowers before. So it was a really lovely suprise when Ben comes back and on greeting him at the door, hands me a gorgeous bunch of pink red and white roses. They got put into the water filled sink with good intention of finding a home for them at a later point. With hindsight they should have just stayed there. Several hours later as I was sorting them into a glass on the shelf above the sink, the glass fell and smashed a hole in the sink!! well chipped a hole in the sink and somehow has put a hole in the bottom of it. Major UH OH! I feel so bad especially as it is Ben's room, as they were my flowers I am going to pay whatever the uni decide to charge for the repair/new sink. Im just living in dread of how much that is going to be, what with the 'uni' costs being considerably higher than any other cost of repair. I'll probably end up prostituting myself around west park in order to pay for it (joking).
Meanwhile the sink is only half out of use, becuase the water is still running from one side without leaking out of the bottom. So until we have the courage to tell residential services, it is staying like that. Anyone know any good sink fixing tips that you want to share, then I'm all ears.

Apart from the sink drama the day had been lovely, the sun was shining and I was so so happy.Until I got a phone call off my mum about my great grandad Harry - although he isn't really called Harry, he's called Henry not that it makes a blind bit of difference.
He has suffered from another major stroke on Friday morning. Now in my eyes this man is amazing, a giant, one of those people you never see as being weak, although he suffered a first stroke 11 years ago he was still going strong and we all realised we were lucky to have him. Although his speech wasn't great and he couldnt move much, we could tell what he wanted from the gestures he made or the way in which he tried to change the tone of his voice especially when the football was on and someone tresspassed past the vision of the t.v.

I remember once at a family birthday meal, we were all eating and grandad started choking on a roast potato. Unable to move himself, all the family raced around him trying to lift him out of his wheelchair and whacking his back, scared he was choking to death. After the potato dislodged he just sat there chuckling whislt continuing to eat. Not bothered about the trauma he had just put us all through. As my uncle Brian said, 'Bloody hell Harry thought I was guna be able to get my fitted kitchen then'....may I just add he was joking!

I loved the way his eyes used to light up when he saw any of us grandchildren and he would grab our hands and go 'ahh'. Disabled or not he was still our grandad, he still expressed the same emotions to us all, just in a different way.
So to hear he has suffered another stroke is devastating, the family have told that he is going to die, and that it is just a matter of time. Apparently he was read his last rites on Friday evening, but now on monday evening he is still with us and not giving in, im pleased the family are with him and he is not on his own. Mum has called and said his breathing is getting worse so will just be a matter of time. I think we are all prepared for him to finally go now and be at peace, there is no need for him to fight anymore although he doesn't seem to be giving in. Almost like an iron man. Everytime I hear he is still with us, it is happy news although it gives me hope that he is going to stay alive even though I know deep down that is not going to happen. When the time does come it will be a very very sad day not just for the family but everyone who knew him.

To add to this my ex very very very very uncooperative housemate is refusing to pay any of the final bills we have recieved since the termination of our house contract. She doesn't read this but I shall not name names, I'll just call her selfish.
The bills we have recieved go from April until end of June. Selfish moved out on the 19th may or some date around then, so tell me if im wrong but I think it is fair that she pays part of the bill atleast. But it would appear that she is not going to pay any! the rotten cow. And because she escaped putting her name on any of the bills, unlike me and my other housemates. I don't think there is anything I can do to get her to pay her part. (If anyone knows of anything I can do to get the money off her let me know) So short of getting her in a headlock and battering her to get the money out of her, me and my far to patient housemates will have to pay her part of the bills, which means £120 each instead of £87. . . . god I hate selfish so much. What a cow. I am a patient person, but she has continued to push my buttons so much so that now they are jammed stuck and are never going to be released.

Well I believe in what goes around comes around, so I can't wait for something bad to come and whack her in the mush.

Apart from grandad and selfish oh and sink everything else is ok. It is mine and Ben's 6 month anniversary together today, so we are off to the cinema to watch erm....not to sure yet. But ill let you know what we decide on and whether it was any good or not.


Monday, 29 June 2009


Well what can I say apart from OH MY GOD!!!

AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING (apart from the gag inducing state of the toilets from about friday onwards.)

I rocked up to the coach station in Birmingham on the wednesday a lovely little glastonbury virgin, not knowing the state of the usual 'glasto traffic' I thought it would only take three and a half hours like stated. WRONG! We left Digbeth on the ironically named happy days coach at 3pm on wednesday afternoon. Arriving at Glastonbury at 12.04am Thursday. It wasn't a happy day, 9 hours on that bloody coach.

It wasn't enough to dampen my spirits though, after stretching my legs to prevent a possible case of DVT, I dragged myself and my ridiculously heavy bags through the turnstile, only getting myself stuck once compared to other peoples 3 times. I can't even describe in words what it is like, ok then if i had to - like an adventure playground were people of all ages can play an basically do whatever.

It didn't hit me that Ihad walked 40 minutes to a field to pitch the tent, until I took my bag off and what felt like my shoulder with it. Emma and myself pitched the tent in record time, which I was suprised at due to the several large glasses of pimms we had drank on the caoch and the pitch black surroundings. Well I say pitch black, really thats a fabrication of the truth. It would have been pitch black, if it wasn't for the Glaswegians tent next door. I'm not kidding it was like a house!! two stoves, a gazeebo, a shower, 5 chairs 4 sleeping compartments. And a camp fire which resembled a bonfire which lit up half the field. I half my time praying that the sparks from their fire would not catch fire to our tent.

Anyway stuff I got up to -

walked a million miles (wish i had my pedometer)

enjoyed a couple of lemon ciders (don't know where you can actually buy them)

sat in fields

Got sunburnt

Got a crick in my neck trying to see bands. When I knew I wasnt guna be able to see anything.

Jumped about like a wild uncontrollbale child

Sat in one of the best thunder and lightening storms ever and got DRENCHED.

Cooked on the camp stove

Helped but a tent up for the first time

I went in every field apart from 2 or three of them which is good going.

Laughed at drunken people

Put a tent up fpr the first time

Trippes over million tent pegs

Gagged at the state of the loo's

Got washed under a cold tap

Sat in small world cafe feeling really chilled out

Went stone circle to watch the sunrise on monday morning , surrounded by a lot of people out of their face on drugs. I didn't take any though, the view was enough for me (see photo above somewhere, its the one with the tree in the pic although it doesnt do it justice)

Bands I went to see


The macabees

Crosby stills and nash


Rokia traore (who I didn't mean to see, but were utterly fantastic)

Yeah yeah yeahs


Friendly fires

Jack penate


Fleet foxes

Bruce springsteen

Will young

Singers in the hari krishna tent

Some pagan band in the green fields


And some random dj's in the dance village.
I just love the whole atmosphere of it and don't think it can be explained until you have experienced it.

Saturday, 20 June 2009


Poundland, full of mostly useless crap. But today I spent £20 in there. I never thought it was possible but I managed it.

With Glastonbury looming only a few days away I thought I better go and see what useless camping stuff they had.

I ended up coming out with three bags full, they contained.

  • Torch
  • batteries x3
  • A throw away camera (even though i have a very nice digital one)
  • paper plates
  • plastic cups
  • plastic tumblers (very similar to the cups)
  • Glowsticks x2
  • whistles on a pink ribbon
  • Shot glasses that are attached to a neacklace of beads
  • a bag of lollipops
  • Plastic knives and forks
  • Dry roasted peanuts
  • A neck cushion
  • A mini fan
  • Some more batteries for the mini fan
  • Some binbags
  • Pack of 6 polo mints.

WONDERFUL!! A whole heap of junk.

Anyway aslong as I have my wellies and my very fetching blue plastic poncho, everything is just going to be fine and dandy. Although I'm sure the 50 minute/hour walk from the coach drop off to the camping field is going to kill me, as I cannot pack lightly and I know with all the junk ive got my bags are going to weigh a tonne. ohwell. fun fun fun.

Sunday, 7 June 2009

Finally got there, a year later than planned.

It did not matter to me, that this morning I had to wake up at quarter to seven to get ready for work. Or did the fact that it was absolutely chucking it down and I had to walk for twenty minutes to get there with an unruly umbrella that did not wish to co-operate with me. Normally that would annoy me. I still wasn't annoyed by the fact that my socks got so wet walking in the rain I had to wring them out in the sink when I got to work, and then walk around all day sockless in a pair of soaking wet shoes.

You know why that didn't bother me? If you aren't that bothered well tough, stop reading because I am going to continue anyway.

Yes I have done it, on my second bloody attempt I have passed my first year studying English. GET IN!! In my assignments I got an E, 5 C's and a B. Much better than my pityful grades last year! Although I will literally kick myself for the rest of my life, because if I put the concentration in last year I would have passed first time. Still, atleast i've done it now.

I'm reeeallly looking forward to studying new modules next year and I am up for a challenge. I am still in a pickle over what modules to take though. hhmm.

Anyway, I watched this really good programme about T.S Elliot on iplayer last night. Robert Webb was the presenter. I have a slight crush on him, o.k maybe slight to medium.

Change of subject here, but if you like really tasty puddings, the G.U range have cooked up a wonderful chocolate, mouse, banana. caramel thing served in little glass pots. They are rather delicious.

Monday, 1 June 2009

silly billy

Ben seems to think my blog is silly, it isn't silly. Ok it may not be about political events and current affairs. But I don't want it to be about anything like that. I am intelligent enough and do watch/read the news everyday, I just don't feel the need to write about it. I do this blog for myself more than anything, I find it a great relief to just type away what has happened to me during the day no matter how spectacular or tedious ( the latter is often the case) and if people happen to read it then fair enough.

Oh dear!

Oh dear! I am sunburnt, my shoulder is actually as red as a lobster. I am a silly arse at times, in asda the other day I saw this Ambre soliel sun cream stuff on offer, so I just bunged it in the basket thinking it was suncream. When I got to the park on Sunday however I realised it was bronzing moisture milk. (whatever that is) Infact it didn't actually contain any spf. Which is not a wise move when you have pale skin like me.

Now I (probably) have self inflicted third degree burns to my shoulder. A valuable lesson has been learnt though so that's ok. Ben suffered the good old British t- shirt tan, well I say tan he is burnt to.

It also doesn't help when I had to wear an all black uniform to work today, I felt like an overworked beach donkey sweltering in the heat. I was dying to just jump into the ice cream freezer. We will all be moaning on Friday though because the weather is supposed to be going dull and cloudy. WHOOOOO!!
I'm in a really good mood today, everything just smells of summer, all the BBQ'S and the smell of suncream make me giddy. The smell of creosote also reminds me of summer, a memory from when I was 6 years old playing in the front garden, my grandad was creosoting the fence whilst my nan was slaving away in the kitchen making tea.

I'm off to cook a nice summery tea for Ben and myself. Salmon, new potatoes, vegetable rice and asparagus pan fried in chilli. Yum.

Friday, 29 May 2009

sunburnt chin!

Today was a glorious day, it resulted in me getting a sunburnt chin!? how? (nose, chest, back and arm - the left side) oh how I love the summertime and my pasty pale skin. Tomorrow I shall be fighting the masses in ASDA to get my hands on the sun cream. Knowing my luck the only ones left will probably be the creams that cost like £17 a bottle or something. But I suppose its better than getting skin cancer.

My nin and grumps (nan and grandad) came down to sunny Wolves today with my two delightful uncles, Nathan and Jacob. Ben, myself and kat my housemate took them to west park for a bit of a kick around. It was lovely, although it came to my attention that the council really need to put a fence around the boating lake. The amount of toddlers that were right near the edge made me really worry, especially as their parents did not seem to mind as they walked 7677 miles behind them.

We ended up going to the carvery and having a nice meal whilst sat in the sun - this is where I think my skin burnage took place, due to the fact kat wanted to sit in the sun without a parasol. My Nin then took us ASDA got us some food and two bottles of wine, which I shall enjoy whilst having a BBQ on Sunday. Although im not that good at BBQ cooking , so by Monday I shall probably have food poisoning.

Monday, 25 May 2009

Bank holiday

I was supposed to be working today, but as I have worked every bank holiday going in the past. I think my manager took pity on me and gave me the day off. I had plans to go the park today and sit in the sun getting stuck into a decent book whilst Ben played footy or whatever with the lads. I do like the sun, but I'm the type of person that would get hot in the arctic. Im always too hot, and have a constant battle with the other half over my constant window opening, I love a good old breeze.

Well my day with me waking up 1pm so that was half the day wasted, when I looked outside anyway the weather was grim. So the park idea was scrapped. I did take a look at the lighthouse cinema, there is an interesting looking italian film with english subtitles - 'il divo' (not that jumped up group of singers) the trailer contained a lot of gunfire and violent film shinannigans, but it looks good. I didn't go see it today but may do so in the week. I worked out it would be cheaper going to asda and buying a DVD.

In the DVD section I was accosted by a foreign gypsy/maffia looking man, wearing a lemon colured vest and a grotesque handlebar moustcahe. He asked me ....''where is the pornograph cd''....horrible horrible little man. For a start he was stood in the disney dvd section, so wouldn't have had much look there. I pointed him in the direction of an innocent looking woman working on the george clothes section. Hopefully she would have told him to piss off and stop asking cutomers where the 'pornograph' is.

Anyway the DVD choice of the day was blood diamond. A really good film, leo dicaprio even does a decent-ish south african accent. Although it has put me off getting a diamond ring when I get married. A haribo jelly ring will do fine.

Sunday, 10 May 2009

Drop Dead Fred

I have just read some devastating news from the trash that is heat magazine. So i'm hoping it's not true.

Apparently a group of directors have got together and have come up with the not so genius idea of remaking 'Drop Dead Fred', What are they thinking. Bloodywell leave it alone!! It's only like one of the best films from my childhood. And it shouldn't be touched up and redone, becuase it can't be made any better.

Lanky streak of piss Russell Brand is lined up for the lead role. And he is rubbish at anything other than being a complete idiot.

I hope to god this news isn't true. If it is I may shed a tear or two.

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

Another early start to the day.

I'm up with the larks today, well for me it's early. Apart from Tuesday and Sunday I'm never awake at this hour, probably because I have been conditioned by the university time system. Which is like no other. I often find that in lectures that what is actually a two hour time period can feel like ten, and it's times like now when I have essays to finish and hand in, that time just seems to vanish.

I haven't read the days news yet, although I have read /listened/viewed it everyday since I was about 11 I think today I may not bother. It will probably only be depressing anyway. And I can do without the depression of the nations goings on.

After this essay is handed in I'll have only one more to go on Friday. Then that's it. Summer can commence. I can't wait to just go the park and chillout in the sun *fingers crossed*, with a good book and a mr.whippy, or a twister if the ice cream man sells them. You can't seem to purchase them in mnat places nowadays.

I'm really looking forward to next week, I am going to London with Ben to the Oval theatre to watch a play called 'Boo'. Inspired by the charcater of Boo Radley, from 'To kill a mockingbird'. I expect this is going to be something worth watching. Although at school I hated studying the text, I have realised since I have grown up that this was probably down to the fact we had a really crap teacher and nothing to do with the book itself. I think I may throw my judgements away and read it again over summer with fresh eyes.
After the play hopefully we will have time to do very touristy things like stand outside Buckingham palace and have our pictures taken.....yay.

Monday, 4 May 2009

Im back.....although you probably haven't even noticed I've been away.

Blummin eck, I haven't done one of these in a while.

A lot of stuff has gone on in the world of Lauren of late, most of it not that interesting, some of it rather interesting.

I have gone on a few times on here already, about the ongoing 4 year battle with my dad about me meeting his mum and dad. So it came as a shock when he said I could meet them ( It hasn't happened yet) anyway, it was news I was pleased about. I should have known something would change. I went to visit him in Manchester a few weeks back, then a week later I got a call off him. And over the god damn phone! He tells me him and his wife are pregnant. How considerate.

What a hypocrite, he goes mad even if I text him to lend me a tenner. He prefers if I call him. Well I would if i ever had calling credit, and I dont like asking anyway, I like to feel independent. So I could have absoloutley kicked his arse for telling me something like that over the phone. In years to come, maybe I shall tell him of his inpending grandchild over the phone too. See how the stupid muppet likes that. And now I don't know if I am over thinking things, but i think the only reason he wants me to meet my grandparents in a hurry was because they have known that they were pregnant all along. ....hhhmmm!? I smell a rat. His wife was 3 months gone when they decided to tell me.

I don't know how to feel really, and I don't care if its not what he wants to hear. Ofcourse im mature enough to know it aint the little baby's fault. And im pleased im having a brother or sister. But I don't think he realises how hard it's going to be for me, having to watch him be all soppy around his wife as the bump grows, and actually being there when its born. Just doing everything with the baby that he never did with me. And to watch the baby being accepted into the family stariaght away...almost like 'The first grandchild' because really thats what it will be. I've only really had my dad for 4years, now he is going to be lost again, everything will change. Im probably never going to have that bond with him I had hoped would develop. I hope to God, when the baby is born that he realises what a crap dad he has been. I hope when the time comes, I pick a better father for my kid than what he has been like to me.


I have enquired about doing the GCSE maths course at the college, apparently the places get taken up really fast. Because I am only at uni part time right now I'm unable to enroll until june. So hopefully I will get a place. Although with 15 year olds in the class, I'll probably end up with a compass in the back of the head or something. Should get the course for free though, because in septemeber I'll be back at uni full time in my 2nd year. Somewhere I should have been this year. Progress though eh :)

Have done well in uni assessments so far, Got a B in how english works. GET IN!! Poor Ben though. He got a 'C' which is a pass, but one of the remarks on the bottom was, ' well you didnt really read that did you'...this reffers to a book he got out for the module 'How English Works' as he put it down as a reference in his online discussion. He actually did read it because I was with him when he was doing so. How nice for lecturers to have belief in their students, I mean how silly of them to think that students would actually go the library and get books out. Shocking eh.

Another shocking thing - The opening times of the uni library at the weekend. I do not pay the disgusting tuition fees for the library to be open from 1.30-5.30. I went along one saturday to do an essay, only to be turfed out at half 5....this resulted in me ending up in the hogs head having a cider and chilli con carne. I was the only one in there with a stack of 12 books perched on the table, whilst a load of blokes including Ben sat there punching their arms in the air everytime a goal oppurtunity came Man utd's way. As a Liverpool supporter I sat there with a face like stone.

House hunting news. I feel I have kind of gave up looking for a house, with only me and Emma looking. We would have had to share with strangers, and to be honest I don't need anymore crap. I've had it up to my neck with the bills fiasco in the house In live in now. So in september im uprooting to the new student Digs, with Ben and two of his mates. The flat is rather swanky, flat screen tv in the living room, with sky! A nice leather corner sofa, basketball courts and a huge social room. It comes at rather a swish price too (for a student) £3,600 for 10 months. So i've decided, I'm not going home over summer (sorry mum) im going to stay in wolves and work my ass off. I will become a co-op bitch. uh oh.

When I told my mum about the flat she encouraged me, and although she doesn't earn much she said she would try help me out and that i should just go for it.

And when I told dad, he just said 'Thought you couldn't afford it'. How encouraging.

I'll show him.

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

Karma has smacked me in the face

I was a bit naughty last year and took a kettle from halls of residence to use in our house. My housemates spurred me on - how supportive of them, yet none of them would take it. So I did. Yes I feel guilty BUT it was at a time when no one was living there, so it wasn't like I was depriving residents of a vital equipment. That is not even a good excuse.

Stealing is bad kids!

Especially when we could have got a real cheap one from Tesco for like a fiver. I like to think I believe in karma to a certain degree. And today it came and smacked me in the mush. It's only gone and broke. And now I am cold from having my window open all night (I forgot to shut it and I like the breeze) and I'd love nothing better than a cup of camomile, honey and vanilla tea. But I can't be arsed going all the way downstairs, and standing over a pan of water waiting for it to boil.

I have learnt my lesson and shall never steal any form of kitchen appliance again. . . .or anything else for that matter! Its naughty and bad. And in some countries I would have had both hands cut off for it by now. And I rather value my hands, much more than I do a kettle.

The sound of rain makes me happy

Ahh I love the sound of really heavy rain battering against the window. Well when I am inside anyway, its not so joyous if you stuck outside in it looking like a drowned rat. I find the sound really ryhtmic and comforting I don't really know why. But when I was a little kid and it used to chuck it down outside when I was out playing, I knew my mum would come outside and shout me in, I used to hide with my friends in an attempt to stay out and play in the rain.

I just want to state now that I hate the type of rain thats really rubbish, the grim, drizzly stuff. Its got to be the pelting down bouncing off the pavement type. Anyway I speak of this today because at about 8am this morning when I was in work there was a really heavy thunder rain storm. This was nice to watch and listen to, and also a bonus for me as no customers really ventured into the shop until a couple of hours afterwards.

Ben is still at home, but coming back on Friday. I can't wait to see him (new haircut n all) and wish the days would hurry up - not so fast though. I still have to do the reading for uni so I can start the essays. Tomorrow will be a productive day hopefully!

Kat (my housemate) and myself are back on our health kick, we did lose weight, but it kind of crumbled after a few weeks. But I'm determined it will last longer than a month this time! Summer is the incentive, I am determined to get trim. Today I came home and poured the bottle of coke down the sink and threw the cheese in the bin. Going to buy some home exercise stuff on Monday I think.

Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Duh! I am such a girl.

I woke up early today 8.55 to be precise, don't know why considering I haven't had anything importnat to do. Anyway I thought I would use the time wisely, so I went to go on the uni website and make some form of start on the essays, but I couldn't get the internet to come on. So ive spent a large chunk of my day turning my laptop on and off in the hope the internet will just mysteriously come on. It didn't work.

I text kat who is at home for easter because I didn't know what to do, im wonderfuly rubbish when it comes to technology. She rang the internet people, turns out all I had to do was go down stairs and turn the modem router thingy off at the mains and then back on again. That was it problem solved. Duuhhhh! why didn't I just think of that in the first place.

Now its twenty past seven and I have dishes to wash tea to cook, a glass of wine to drink and the apprentice to watch. Think I will start the work tomorrow. Definatley!

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Oh look it's Easter....nearly!

Last night myself and Ben went to Nandos and stuffed ourselves on Chicken, spicey rice and bottomless glasses of soft drink. Now normally, if you are all that bothered I have my chicken cooked in medium peri peri, but last night I decided to take a walk on the wild side and have it HOT! Ouchy! It burnt about three layers of skin off the inside of my mouth, anyway it was tatsy all the same.

The co-op currently has a three for £5 offer on Easter eggs, this is a bit pants really, considering Tesco is selling the same egg for 98p and ASDA £1. I told everyone who was buying them at the till that they are on offer at these supermarkets, I tried to be discreet although i'm sure the manager heard me sending custom elsewhere...Damn! Bang goes my chances of employee of the month. Although im pretty sure all the reward is, is your name on the wall. Which isn't really a reward, as I can write my name on the wall myself for free.

Ben's grandma sadly passed away last week, so he has gone home earlier than expected for easter holiday to attend her funeral, and the girls have gone home too. So i'm in Wolves with not a lot. Actually correction, nothing to do apart from having good intentions of getting my essays started, or atleast doing the reading for them. I did go the library the other day and got 8 books out, which resulted in my bulging carrier bag of books ripping in the middle of the road as I was walking home. So yeah i'm going to flick through them and get myself off to a good start.

Quick question, does anyone know any good books about Renaissance literature? there are so many I don't know where to start. I just want to read some info about the period and historical context so I can apply it to the essay and make an attempt to sound like I know what I'm on about.

My mum and Ellis are coming down on Friday for the day, and it's mum's payday so i'm hoping she might buy me some decent food that I would never normally waste my money on. I think she has got me an easter egg, which is sweet considering i'm 20. Obviously it will be nice to see them, Ellis is 13 now and she inists on jumping up at me at the train station and giving me a hug when she steps off the train. This is all very nice, but rather soul destroying when I realise at age 13 she is nearly as tall as me, and when I lift her up her feet scrape the floor. I wonder how long she will last before she insults me. Last time they came down I think she managed a rather impressive 5 minutes without giving me some verbal abuse. She loves me really though I hope.

I am going now to eat some jaffa cakes or maybe a pear. Maybe both. ooooooh.

Friday, 3 April 2009

Jolly mood

Today I have woke up in a good mood which is always nice, and I think its going to be a nice steady paced day. Which is always welcomed on a friday. My plan after I have typed this is to go eat a bowl of shreddies and a pear, get a shower, get changed and go to lecture. Don't know what it is about this week, I should probably check actually. I will probably end up coming out with the usual friday lecture 'claw', after writing so many notes my hand no longer looks like hand but an actual claw or something like that. Good old hand cramp.

I have been scarily organised lately when it comes to uni work and things, so yesterday I made a list of books that may help me for the end of year essays. Some of them only have one copy available, so im guna be hitting the library quicksharp after lecture. As usual it will probably be a race between me and some other student for the last copy of the book. I'm not going to back down this time. If my hand touches it first, then it's mine.

Thursday, 2 April 2009

I do love a good Bic Biro

I have realised a few things of late.....

1)Life is precious and even though I try not to, I may take the things and people in it for granted. I am sorry, I don't mean to. I miss my family and friends back home and should tell them that I love them more. I am lucky just to have family, some people don't even have that.

2) I am actually very capable at doing things at rather a high standard if I set my mind to it, because I know I am not thick. Teachers at school have always said, 'Lauren is intelligent and capable, If she puts 100% effort into things she will achieve her full potential'. This is true, I have realised that I aint just going to get a degree, teaching job and a nice house sat on my ass. I am going to start working to my full potential, well better late than never.

3) Bic biro's are my favourite type of pen to write with. I don't like blue pen though AT ALL, not even bic. If bic went bust during the recession I would cry.

4) Sometimes I can be too hard on myself when I mess things up, I should just learn from it.

5) I don't really like Tomato soup. After eating half of a rather large tin I realised I felt sick, and thought it would probably be wise to stop eating it, the other half got poured down the sink. The drains probably didn't like the taste of it either.

6) I can be happy being single and in a couple, but I think I am more of a relationship type of girl. I like doing things together, sharing things, leaving stupid notes around the place. And waking up to my boyfriend is nice and makes me feel all happy.

7) Stick with the wine that you like even if it is a bit costly on a student budget, although the two for £5 offer looks good....it DOESN'T bloody taste good. I could hardly drink it.

8) One of the best albums I have possibly ever listened to is 'Play' by Moby, although it has always been in my top three.

9) No matter how much you plan things, sometimes they just dont work out and sometimes its for the good - never did I imagine a few years back that my life would be like this now. I know my Dad and I am possibly meeting the grandparents.

10) I forgot how much I love the album ' The Eraser' by thom yorke

11) I think rather alot, sometimes this is good and other times it's bad.

12)Lots of silly things like films have made me cry lately, I don't no why.

13) I want to learn to play an instrument

14) Or learn a language

15) I need to get my maths GCSE sorted pronto, even though I am at uni, I still haven't gained a C in maths - which is probably why I am doing English. ha! ....I tried bloody hard though to get that elusive C. Four years in a row I sat that exam. From year 10 at school until the second year of my Alevels in college. To no avail, I am determined though, I WILL GET IT ONE DAY!

16) I should have kept Fred the weathermans autograph. I'm never ever gunna get that back now! Damn!

17) I should resign myself to the fact that I will never set up a sellors account on Ebay, I shall just continue to buy more and more junk with my buyers account.

18) Maybe I should learn to sew proparly and wire a plug or something. One day here's hoping I will be a housewife, and a semi decent/has her uses crap one at that.

19) I should stop wishing I was young again, stop worrying so much about the future and just live more in the present.

20) I love manderin vodka and cranberry. And honey vanilla and camomile tea.

21) I should write to my Great Gran more, she is old and frail and really lovely and I don't see her much. She also loves recieving letters, I think I will write her an Easter card.

22) I love strawberry and rain scented incense sticks

23) That is enough realisations for now I think. Off to bed.

Sunday, 29 March 2009

Well I was not expecting that!

Went to Manchester yesterday to visit the father. Unfortunatley, the trip did not result in a wagamama meal like I had hoped. Although I did help (chopped the veg) in making roasted Butternutsquash, peppers and onions in some oil with added spices, served alongside lime and coriander cous cous. It was nice but didn't wipe the floor with the yaki udon - that reigns supreme!

I have had this ongoing battle of wills with my dad for about 4 years now, about me meeting his mum and dad - my nan and grandad!? Dunno how I view them. Anyway we have always been stubborn in nature. I have always refused to give in to the fact that I just want to meet them and to be acknowledged by them. And Dad has always been stubborn and firmly said No!

So it did come as quite a rather large shock (I was wearing a plastic viking hat at the time) when he just comes out with, 'so ive discussed with my mum and dad about them meeting you its gunna happen, sooner rather than later i think' I was like whooaah! Well i bloodywell was not expecting that! Although it is something I have always wanted, never for the life of me did I think anything would materialise. Now I am shitting it all over again, all nervous and stuff just like when I was 16 and I met dad for the first time. I hate that feeling, it makes me feel all sick and mouth watery. But I am not backing out, no bloody way. It's gunna be wierd anyway. What the hell do you say to two people who have known of your existance for 20 years, yet not done anything about wanting to know you.

I am a bit scared!

I did learn something new though, dad is trying to be daddy cool, and is probably going through some form of early mini midlife crisis or something. He has just bought a bass guitar thingy, it is rather niice though. Yesterday I had never even held a guitar, and now I can strum along to some sigur ros track. GO ME!! Granted it did take me like 2 hours to finally master it.

Today (Sunday) Woke up early for work :( left Ben sleeping peacefully in bed, which made me wana stay. Then I got to work, after nearly getting ran over by some dickhead who was going waay to fast. And I had to try and coax some drunk man out of the shop who would not leave, he insisted me on telling me the story of how he had just been arrested at the bus stop for being drunk and disorderly. Apparently he told the lone policewoman to 'Fuck off', So she seemingly just let him go. Care for the community or what eh. I felt pissed just off the alcoholic fumes of his minging breath.

Went the cinema with the girls tonight, went too see duplicity. If you want a money saving tip - DO NOT waste your money going and see it. It will make you cry with tears of boredom, it is rubbish. You would get more joy out of watching paint dry.

Saturday, 28 March 2009

It's the weekend!

I read my arse off for the bloody reading quiz test yesterday, don't think I did that well though. As always I seem to take mental notes of all the non important stuff in the text. Ohwell it's done now. Also I got given an essay for both intro to lit and how English works. Looking at the questions, im feeling rather confident and positive that I can do well and achieve a semi decent grade, I will try my best anyway. I think the trick is to actually start them way before they are due in, rather than leave them until three days before (my downfall last year!)

Ben and mysef watched p.s i love you the other night, whereas I love the soppyness and romance of it all, he was somewhat more reluctant to watch it. Although by the end of he film I got the impression he secretly enjoyed it. But to balance out the soppy factor and increase masculinity, we decided on buying ' The last King of Scotland dvd. . . which I must recomend!. . .even if you watch it just to gawp over James Macavoy. Very good film, Forest Whitakers performance is outstanding, alhough the film is no where near as violet as I thought it was going to be.

Today I'm typing this whilst watching holiday showdown, which is rather depressing for two reasons: 1) Some family is off to dubai and staying in a hotel that just looks like heaven and I want to be there, and 2) some family is of to Blackpool for a week! And they think it is the best thing ever, even though they have travelled abroad before. I mean i've got nothing against Blackpool (for a day out or something), Ive spent some good times there when I was a nipper with my nan and grandad. But the state it's in now, spending a week there I can imagine just being sheer hell! It is quite sad watching this family try to big it up, eating burgers everyday for their breakfast, dinner and tea.

Anyway im of to Manchester today to go and see my Dad. Wonder what we shall be doing? Im guna try get him to go wagamama again, everytime I go see him, we end up there without fail. I'm in the mood for a plate of yaki udon and some duck gayoza. yum!

Monday, 23 March 2009

Sexist Chocolate

My brief shift at the co-op today went suprisingly fast, which was rather good. Although I did stay behind an extra 20 minutes to make 22 bus passes. Some man came in exactly one minute before the end of my shift wanting bus passes for 22 children - I don't think they were all his kids, is it even humanly possible to give birth to 22 children!? Surely your body would just collapse. I think he worked for a childrens home or something. Anway thats not the point.

When I finally escaped the bus pass office, I was taking a stroll down the sweet aisle I heard something so cute and innocent that it genuinly made me smile. A little girl about age 6 had a Yorkie chocolate bar in her hand and was looking up at her mum and waving it about. She said, 'mummy I want this chocolate today, but I can't have it can I because it says its not for girls'. How cute! It really made me smile.

Maybe Nestle shouldn't portray Yorkies as 'Not for girls'. If that little girls mum hadn't corrected her to the fact she could have it, nestle could have lost a valuable customer, thanks to a sexist slogan.

Thursday, 19 March 2009

The five flavours of calm.

Didn't do much today, I woke up had jam on toast and a cup of tea, watched some crap on t.v. Although I did ring the tax people at the co op they were not really helpful, but hopefully I should be recieving the money back....... soon!...... Soon - how long is bloody soon. Why can't they just be specific, bunch of arses.

Anyway it is 2.30am and I am still awake, I am tired but I have the feeling I will not be able to get asleep. It doesn't help when I'm home alone, all of the girls are at their boyfriends - so I should be thankful for the rare peace and quiet I suppose. Although there is something rather unsettling about being on your own. I do not like the fact the only sound I can hear is the boiler and the bloody beeping of the smoke alarm, that has been on its way out for a fair few months now - although the landlord reasures us he will 'fix it'. We will all probably have to perish in a fire before he gets off his arse and does something about it.

When I am on my own I do not like the kitchen, you see we have an energy saving bulb in there and when you first turn it on it is really dim, it makes the kitchen look all scary and dead creepy - especially at night, and I always think someone is going to stick their arm round the door and grab me or something.

When we first moved in the house we got our friend to go up in the loft because the house smelt of weed, we wondered if there was a cannibis farm up there or something. There wasn't ,but what we did find was an old hoover part, some bits of computer or something - and an axe!! - What the hell!!? Hope it wasn't used in a crime! As a group we decided on keeping it though, it lives in the cupboard. It is blunt and wouldn't cut an apple, but if anyone tried to burgle me tonight I think I would look rather intimidating brandishing an axe.

I ran out of camomile tea last night, so today I went and purchased some more. Although now I am spoilt for choice - I decided on a variety pack of twinings tea 'moments of calm'. I have a choice of five flavours of calm, i'm thinking of going with the camomile honey and vanilla variety. I was just thinking of going to bed - avoiding the kitchen, but need to get the chicken out. damn!

Thursday, 12 March 2009

This made me laugh

Last week in lecture I was flicking through the Norton Anthology and noticed something rather obscure and possibly quite funny. In the sixteenth century picture section there is a portrait of Will Shakespeare, 'The chandos Portrait', by anonymous date unknown.
Everytime I glance upon it I can't help but think that the geezer looks rather a lot like the comic genius Bill Bailey!

Monday, 9 March 2009

Aaaw lovely Ben

He has won tickets to the Wolves match tomorrow, but instead of going (like I told him he should) he has sold the tickets. So we are off to nando's - how lovely. A free meal seeing as he got the tickets for free anyway. Happy days.
Hopefully this time there won't be a 20 minute wait, and we can be left in peace to sit there and happily eat our olives and drown in peri peri sauce .

Gas Bill

Just recieved the gas bill, 600 odd quid from the period December - March. I nearly died! (no word of a lie!) What the frigging hell have we been doing?? I told my mum, not that she can do anything. (Im pretty sure she almost died to)

So now I am sat in the cold, because we are scared of putting the heating on. Before coming university one of my college teachers did give me an 'invaluabe student tip', - always put tin foil around your radiator as it keeps the heat in. I have avoided this tip thus far, partly because I don't want to appear a freak when people come round and see foil splashed about around the radiator. And secondly we never have any tin foil in anyway.

Ah the life of a student.

Poor mum

I haven't spoken to my family much lately, I don't know why really although I could try blaming it on lack of phone credit (which is true) and the fact we don't make calls from our house phone, because then it would cost us. And last month a major arguement kicked off in our house, when the bill showed that someone had been making calls to other landlines (16 to be precise) and with no one admitting making the calls, it was left to the girl whos name the bill is in to pay the extra - which isn't fair really. So I just decide to stay away from the bloody thing.

Last night it appears my mum tried to call me 7 times - I missed well all of them, not purposely may I add. She then went on to send me a text saying 'it's ok don't worry im just calling you to hav a chat if you're about'. Then after I didnt get back to her, she molested my facebook wall with a lovely little message only a mother could write, making me feel guilty all the while. Mentioning how Ellis actually says she misses me, ahh bless.

So now I feel ssoooo bad that I haven't got back to her. Not that she will ever read this blog, as she doesn't know of its existance, but I just want to say - sorry mum!!
I hope she doesn't think I am dead or something.

I'm not even doing anything decent to justify not speaking to them. I am sat cross legged in bed typing this crap, whilst thinking about whether to have a shower now or later. Best go text her actually, let her know I am alive.

Sunday, 8 March 2009

Sweet Tooth - The best sweet shop in the land full stop

From today I am officially off work on 'holiday' for a week. So I have just indulged in a bottle of Magners and watched some trash on t.v, for no other reason other than I can. So ha!

Tomorrow instead of going work or having to go uni I will probably do nothing, this is a change from the norm, although I am not to sure if I like having nothing to do. It makes feel a little on edge sometimes. I like having stuff to do. Knowing me I will probably find myself bored by about 2pm, so will probably end up doing some reading for intro to lit.

Oooh actually! I've just remembered I have some books that are due back at the university library (2 days over due already!)....hope they don't hit me with a bank balance destroying fine.

Number one plan on the agenda tomorrow is visit sweet tooth, its a little old fashioned sweet shop near the newbridge inn. Full of character and jars of sweets from back in ye olde days, I would even go as far as saying it's amazing! Sweets that ar weighed on old fashioned scales, wrapped up in a little bag with red ribbon.

I have yet to introduce Ben to this place, everytime we plan on going we either seem to fall asleep or get there as it is closing. We had a rather long stroll one Sunday to Sweet tooth, no point to our walk other than, I was insistant that I must have some rhubarb and custards. When we got there the man was locking up. Gutted! I had to make do with a shitty aero from the co-op.

Sad I know, but I am wondering what I shall get tomorrow.......tom thumbs or kop kops maybe even mixed bolied sweets. hhhmmm!? Important stuff eh!!