Im back.....although you probably haven't even noticed I've been away.

Blummin eck, I haven't done one of these in a while.

A lot of stuff has gone on in the world of Lauren of late, most of it not that interesting, some of it rather interesting.

I have gone on a few times on here already, about the ongoing 4 year battle with my dad about me meeting his mum and dad. So it came as a shock when he said I could meet them ( It hasn't happened yet) anyway, it was news I was pleased about. I should have known something would change. I went to visit him in Manchester a few weeks back, then a week later I got a call off him. And over the god damn phone! He tells me him and his wife are pregnant. How considerate.

What a hypocrite, he goes mad even if I text him to lend me a tenner. He prefers if I call him. Well I would if i ever had calling credit, and I dont like asking anyway, I like to feel independent. So I could have absoloutley kicked his arse for telling me something like that over the phone. In years to come, maybe I shall tell him of his inpending grandchild over the phone too. See how the stupid muppet likes that. And now I don't know if I am over thinking things, but i think the only reason he wants me to meet my grandparents in a hurry was because they have known that they were pregnant all along. ....hhhmmm!? I smell a rat. His wife was 3 months gone when they decided to tell me.

I don't know how to feel really, and I don't care if its not what he wants to hear. Ofcourse im mature enough to know it aint the little baby's fault. And im pleased im having a brother or sister. But I don't think he realises how hard it's going to be for me, having to watch him be all soppy around his wife as the bump grows, and actually being there when its born. Just doing everything with the baby that he never did with me. And to watch the baby being accepted into the family stariaght away...almost like 'The first grandchild' because really thats what it will be. I've only really had my dad for 4years, now he is going to be lost again, everything will change. Im probably never going to have that bond with him I had hoped would develop. I hope to God, when the baby is born that he realises what a crap dad he has been. I hope when the time comes, I pick a better father for my kid than what he has been like to me.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE!

I have enquired about doing the GCSE maths course at the college, apparently the places get taken up really fast. Because I am only at uni part time right now I'm unable to enroll until june. So hopefully I will get a place. Although with 15 year olds in the class, I'll probably end up with a compass in the back of the head or something. Should get the course for free though, because in septemeber I'll be back at uni full time in my 2nd year. Somewhere I should have been this year. Progress though eh :)

Have done well in uni assessments so far, Got a B in how english works. GET IN!! Poor Ben though. He got a 'C' which is a pass, but one of the remarks on the bottom was, ' well you didnt really read that did you'...this reffers to a book he got out for the module 'How English Works' as he put it down as a reference in his online discussion. He actually did read it because I was with him when he was doing so. How nice for lecturers to have belief in their students, I mean how silly of them to think that students would actually go the library and get books out. Shocking eh.

Another shocking thing - The opening times of the uni library at the weekend. I do not pay the disgusting tuition fees for the library to be open from 1.30-5.30. I went along one saturday to do an essay, only to be turfed out at half 5....this resulted in me ending up in the hogs head having a cider and chilli con carne. I was the only one in there with a stack of 12 books perched on the table, whilst a load of blokes including Ben sat there punching their arms in the air everytime a goal oppurtunity came Man utd's way. As a Liverpool supporter I sat there with a face like stone.

House hunting news. I feel I have kind of gave up looking for a house, with only me and Emma looking. We would have had to share with strangers, and to be honest I don't need anymore crap. I've had it up to my neck with the bills fiasco in the house In live in now. So in september im uprooting to the new student Digs, with Ben and two of his mates. The flat is rather swanky, flat screen tv in the living room, with sky! A nice leather corner sofa, basketball courts and a huge social room. It comes at rather a swish price too (for a student) £3,600 for 10 months. So i've decided, I'm not going home over summer (sorry mum) im going to stay in wolves and work my ass off. I will become a co-op bitch. uh oh.

When I told my mum about the flat she encouraged me, and although she doesn't earn much she said she would try help me out and that i should just go for it.

And when I told dad, he just said 'Thought you couldn't afford it'. How encouraging.

I'll show him.